


You're Our Only Way Out of Here

by wbh



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Amputation, Cassian collects and protects defectors and criminals, Friendship, Gen or Pre-Slash, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Sort Of, Swearing, Vague descriptions of serious injury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-07 21:48:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12850188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wbh/pseuds/wbh
Summary: Two times Bodhi landed on Yavin IV, and what Cassian did to help him there





	You're Our Only Way Out of Here

Bodhi tried to steady his hands as he went through the familiar motions of landing the Zeta-Class cargo shuttle he had stolen from Eadu.

Stolen. With an reprogrammed enforcer droid as a copilot. And a rebel spy on the comms, rattling off codes that allowed them to land safely on Yavin IV, secret headquarters of the Rebel Alliance.

Not so familiar after all.

Bodhi swallowed as the landing gear touched down, reaching forward to start the sequence to power down the engines. Captain Andor had finally broken his tense silence after his argument with Galen’s daughter, but only to guide the ship in. He hadn’t said anything to Bodhi about what kind of reception he could expect. Andor had allowed Bodhi to pilot, which had reassured him until he realized that he now knew the location of the hidden rebel base. Rebels who, while they appeared to be unaffiliated with Saw Gerrera and his...methods, had still dropped bombs that killed Galen Erso. Galen, who at this rate had probably been Bodhi’s last remaining friend in the galaxy.

Now Galen was dead, and Bodhi was surrounded by rebels, and he was an imperial cargo driver who knew how to find their base.

Defected. He’d defected.

Bodhi finished his post-flight check and then pulled his arms close to his body, curling up a little in the cockpit’s jumpseat. Although he knew it wasn’t likely, right now the rebels forgetting he existed felt like the best possible option. He was still shaking no matter how hard he tried to stop it. He honestly wasn’t sure if it was lingering fear and horror over what Gerrera had done, or simple hunger and thirst. His throat felt stuck and dry, and he couldn’t remember the last time he had eaten.

“Come on,” Captain Andor said, nudging his arm a little and then starting down the ladder to exit the cockpit. There went Bodhi’s thin hopes of simply being left behind. It would have been easier for the rebels that way, he thought, bitterly. Collect all the imperial trash in one place.

“Cassian will look after you,” the enforcer droid said, suddenly. Bodhi started and glanced over at it. _K-2SO_ , his fuzzy memory supplied. _Designation K-2SO_.

Bodhi breathed in deeply, fighting through his intense desire _not_ to set foot in a base full of people who probably wanted him dead, and hauled himself to his feet. No sense delaying the inevitable. But still…

“Why do you think that?” he asked the droid, curious.

“Like you said,” K-2SO replied “Cassian reprogrammed me. He’s always looked after me. You said you were reprogrammed too, so it is highly likely he would be similarly irrational and look after you.”

Bodhi opened his mouth to respond, but stopped himself from trying to explain the difference between organics and droids in this particular area; the metaphor he’d scrambled together to get K-2SO to trust him back on Eadu obviously didn’t have long legs.

He took another deep breath, clenched his hands into fists, and followed Cassian out of the shuttle.

***

The landing pad outside the temple the rebels were holed up in was busier than Bodhi had imagined it would be. This was clearly a more structured outfit than Saw’s ragtag band of partisans. Bodhi tried to take comfort in the fact that the uniformed rebels marching toward them looked nothing like the men who’d marched him across Jedha’s desert. Then he remembered the X-Wings bombing the research facility on Eadu, and flinched back up the ramp a few steps, toward the relative safety of the cargo hold.

Jyn Erso was standing with the temple guardians from Jedha, well apart from Cassian Andor. Her face was still set in a stoney frown. Bodhi couldn’t really blame her. A small but growing part of him, however, sympathized with Cassian - with his disobeying orders. He wondered what the rebels might do to someone who defied a superior officer. How they might treat an imperial defector, who’d already proven he’d go his own way in the face of commands he could no longer stand to carry out.

“Bodhi!” Cassian called, waving him out of the ship impatiently. He had changed back into his jacket with the rank pips, and was speaking to a dark-skinned woman in a similar uniform. She was flanked by two men with blasters and strange helmets that stuck out behind their heads. Guards, probably. Here to drag him to a cell?

Bodhi walked toward Cassian reluctantly, clenching his fists to avoid wringing his hands. He’d defected. He had information for the rebellion. They didn’t need to torture him. This time, _this time_ , he would be convincing, and they would believe him, and even the fucking holes in his memory left behind by the last torture wouldn’t stop him from answering everything he could, and then he would be done.

He wished he could believe what he was telling himself.

Bodhi stopped next to Cassian, trying to look less scared than he felt. That had been part of the problem with Saw, he’d decided. He hadn’t been calm enough. Had to be calm to be believed. Just breathe.

“Bodhi Rook, imperial defector,” Cassian said to the uniformed woman, sweeping his hand to indicate Bodhi. “He helped us get off Eadu. Wouldn’t have made it without him”

Bodhi couldn’t help it; he turned to stare at Cassian. Cassian Andor, captain in the Rebel Alliance, who had just all but told this woman he trusted Bodhi. For the first time, Bodhi wondered if maybe K-2SO was right.

“Bodhi has information about the planet killer, and Galen Erso,” Cassian continued. He turned to meet Bodhi’s stunned gaze. “Captain Orindo here is in charge of your debriefing. Anything you can remember - codes, hyperspace routes - would be very helpful. Comm me when you’ve finished and I’ll meet you to plan our next steps.” Cassian nodded shortly, and then turned on his heel, moving to intercept a tall, balding man who was striding toward them wearing a scowl.

Bodhi didn’t move for a moment, and then had to suppress a flinch when Orindo touched his arm.

“Come on,” she said, pulling on him, but gently so he could choose to follow. “Draven looks like he’s on the warpath, and it’s better to let Cassian deal with him.” Bodhi followed her, and was surprised again when her guards didn’t go with them.

“Cassian said Saw Gerrera’s people had you?” It was a statement, but she made it a question.

“Yes,” Bodhi said pointedly, firmly. Willing to talk. This was going well, he just needed to keep showing her he was sincere.

She whistled, low. “Mothma calls him an extremist, but everyone knows that’s an understatement.”

Orindo ran an appraising gaze over Bodhi, and he had to stop himself from reaching up to fidget with his goggles. “You’re probably parched. Hungry too, yeah? Cassian says you’re an asset, and a defector at that. Why don’t we stop in the mess before you start telling me what the hell happened?”

Bodhi almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He hadn’t even told her anything yet, but they were willing to waste food on him. Maybe Galen hadn’t been lying to him, or totally wrong; maybe he just really hadn’t known the rebellion had split...maybe...

Orindo’s brow was starting to furrow and Bodhi realized he was taking too long to respond. He nodded, trying not to seem too eager. His suspicion that this was too good to be true clung tightly, though, and he started speaking rapidly, “Yes, good, um, I know I said I had a message, and I did, at first, but I don’t have it anymore, but I do know other things, I never saw the worst, at the facility, but I heard -”

Orindo chuckled, quietly but not unkindly, and patted his arm. “We’ll get to that. I’m sure you have a lot to tell us. You’re not our first defector. Welcome to the Alliance, Bodhi Rook.”

She nodded once, and then set off further into the base, not even looking behind to see if he would follow. It was probably a test, but it was an obvious one, and one he could easily pass. He stepped into the shadows of the rebel base, and barely noticed that his hands had stopped shaking.

* * *

 

Landing on Yavin IV the second time was surprising in a few ways. One, he had never expected to return to the base after defying orders _again_ and going rogue from an Alliance he had joined only hours before. And two, he hadn’t really expected to live to land the ship at all.

As the landing gear settled down and Bodhi reached forward to open the cargo ramp, he heard frantic commotion down below. Shouting, running feet, cries of wounded men and women still feeling the effects of his terrible landing. How embarrassing. His final flight, and he couldn’t even stick the landing.

Bodhi wasn’t even sure who he’d picked up from the beach, in the end. He’d waited as long as he could, while soldiers stumbled inside or dragged their comrades in after them. Then he’d picked up Jyn and Cassian on the communication tower. Then the white horror of seeing the Death Star, _really_ seeing it finally, and what it could do.

Then hyperspace. Then fading in and out, knowing he needed to stay awake, long enough at least to see the others back safely. Then struggling to speak through blood in his mouth over the comms to convince the Alliance not to shoot him down. Then his worst ever landing.

Bodhi reached forward automatically, his brain and habits still insisting he do the post-flight engine shutdown. He choked instead on a scream, biting his tongue to not cry out as his left arm flared with pain. His right hand was too clumsy to do much more than open the cargo ramp on its own, so he settled back in the chair, sliding down so his head wouldn’t peek out behind the jumpseat.

This was familiar. Hiding in the cockpit on Yavin, hoping to just be left with the ship. He was tired, and distantly aware that he couldn’t stand up anyway. No point in anyone worrying about him. He’d gotten them home. He’d done enough. It was ok. He closed his eyes.

***

“Hey, hey, pilot, wake up!”

Someone was snapping in front of Bodhi’s face, shouting at him. He forced his eyes open.

Dark brown eyes in an unfamiliar face swam in front of him. Bodhi groaned. He wanted to go back to sleep.

“Oh no, don’t you pass out on me again,” the stranger demanded. “It’s a good thing Andor asked us to check on you up here. Thought you were dead for a second.”

Andor...Cassian. He made it, then? He had looked terrible when Bodhi had flown to collect him off the tower. “He’s ok?” Bodhi forced out, despite the pain that flared in his chest when he talked. “Cassian? Jyn? Baze? Chirrut?” He struggled to remember the other soldiers’ names. There was Tonc, but Tonc had died on Scarif, taken out by trooper fire while trying to cover Bodhi’s mad dash back to the ship with the communication cable.

“I don’t know who anyone is, kid, but stay with me and you can find out for yourself.” The warm eyes turned away from Bodhi. He felt his own sliding shut again. The stranger started shouting, and Bodhi winced. “Hey, I need a stretcher and some way to get this kid out of here! Medical emergency, dammit!” Bodhi’s eyes were forced open by prying fingers, and he looked up into the strange face again. A medic maybe? He was on Yavin, wasn’t he? A rebel medic. “Oh no, stay awake until I can figure out how to stabilize you, understand? Andor asked about you, he’d have my head if I let you die. What’s your name?”

“I’m the pilot,” Bodhi replied, sure that was the right answer. His eyes were still open, but he couldn’t make out the medic’s face anymore.

A sigh. “What happened to you?”

“Grenade,” he replied dutifully. “There was…”

_He’d had a split second to react when the grenade rolled to a halt in front of him, and the gambler in him knew that it was a one in a million chance that he’d managed to grab the thing before it stopped beeping, and hurl it out of the cargo hold._

_Even that didn’t totally save him; further away it might have been, but the grenade’s blast still shot a fireball through the open cargo door._

_Bodhi blacked out for the worst of it, but when he came back to himself, maybe a minute later, he knew the only reason he’d survived was that a large chunk of the ceiling had fallen on him, shielding him from most of the blast._

_He nearly screamed with the effort of pushing the twisted metal off of his back. He couldn’t hear any of the battle anymore, only a dull ringing. His left arm dangled uselessly. He tried not to look at it after the first time, sure that shock was the only reason he didn’t pass out at the sight of the bloody mess. He was pretty sure he’d seen bone._

_In a distant way, he registered that it hurt to breathe, and wondered if this was what broken ribs felt like. His chest burned as he hauled himself up the ladder into the cockpit one-handed, but this was his job._ You’re our only way out of here. _That’s what Cassian had said. And he’d made that one in a million chance with the grenade, so he had to do his job._ You’re our only way out of here. _Bodhi was the pilot. He was the pilot, he was the pilot, he was the pilot --_

Bodhi jolted back to awareness with the realization he couldn’t breathe. He gasped for air, his lungs refusing to work, as the cockpit and the stranger’s face blurred in front of him.

“Aw hell,” the medic said. “Sorry kid, this is gonna hurt, but I gotta re-inflate your lung. If you live through this, you can thank me later.”

And then Bodhi felt something stab into his side, between the ribs, and his eyes finally won the battle and slid shut.

***

Bodhi woke slowly, first aware of soft murmured voices and then of beeping, like medical equipment. He lay still, not opening his eyes. He wasn’t sure what the voices were saying. They sounded far away, or like they were under water.

He didn't know where he was. He felt...good, though, all things considered. Not without pain, his chest still hurt something awful, but it was like the pain was slightly to the right of him and it...didn’t matter. His left arm didn’t hurt anymore. That was strange.

He’d landed on Yavin IV, hadn’t he? That hadn’t been a dream? He’d saved Cassian, and Jyn, and as many people as possible, and landed at the rebel base? He hoped so. He opened his eyes.

He was definitely in a medical wing. The people talking were sitting beside his bed. Cassian, and Jyn. He knew he’d picked them up off of the tower, but seeing them sitting there, alive, untwisted something deep in his chest.

Cassian was the first to notice he was awake. “Hey, there you are,” he said, sounding relieved. “Was afraid we’d lost you for good.” He still sounded like he was underwater, and Bodhi had to strain to hear him. His hair was damp, in a slick way Bodhi distantly realized meant he’d been in a bacta tank. He still had some bruises and was sitting stiffly in his chair.

Bodhi glanced over at Jyn, who was smiling softly. Her hair was dry, but she had one leg propped up, and a bandage around her ankle.

Bodhi swallowed. “Did we get the plans?” Even his own voice sounded muffled in his head.

“It was touch and go there for a bit, but we just heard from Organa,” Jyn said “She got the plans out during the battle, and she’s on her way here with them now. They had a hell of a time getting away, but you woke up just in time for the good news, Bodhi. We did it.”

Bodhi relaxed back into the bed, stunned and sort of numb. They’d done it. Going rogue hadn’t been for nothing. Although...apparently the Alliance didn’t care much about that, because here they all were in the medical wing, being treated and free to speak to each other. Well, not all of them.

“Baze and Chirrut?” he asked. He didn’t need a response when he saw how both of their faces fell.

“They didn’t make it onto your shuttle,” Cassian said gently. “I’m not sure what happened, and you probably weren’t in any shape to -” he cut himself off. “I’m just glad we weren’t too late for you too.”

Jyn cleared her throat and then brought down her elevated leg, grabbing for a cane that was leaning against the end of Bodhi’s bed. “I want to talk to Mothma about the weakness in those plans. I think I know where to look.” She smiled at Bodhi. “You get better, yeah? I want to be able to tell you we blew the fucking thing up.”

Bodhi nodded, fighting back tears that had unexpectedly sprung into his eyes. He watched her limp out of the room.

Cassian stayed where he was, although he shifted in his chair nervously.

“If you need to -” Bodhi started to say.

“No, no,” Cassian interrupted. “I probably shouldn’t be out of bed either, to tell you the truth.” He smiled.

Bodhi looked down self-consciously, and saw himself for the first time.

“Cassian,” he said slowly, trying not to panic, knowing breathing too hard would be awful for his ribs. “What happened to my arm?”

His right arm, with his non-dominant hand, was fine. His left arm was...gone.

Cassian cleared his throat. “It was...I’m sorry Bodhi, it was already infected when you got here and they can’t put you in bacta until you stabilize more and...it was killing you. You were losing too much blood.”

Bodhi shut his eyes, fighting down rising panic. “I can still _feel_ it,” he said, and even muffled his own voice was beginning to sound shrill.

“Hey, hey,” Cassian said gently. He grabbed Bodhi’s hand. “I’ve known soldiers who lost limbs before. That’s normal. And the rebellion has supplies, we can get you a prosthetic, if you want.”

Bodhi looked at him, his heart rate calming a little at Cassian’s earnest expression. “What, for _me_?” he asked, disbelieving. “I’m a double defector, I _went rogue_ \--”

“But it worked, and I was there, so it was an officially sanctioned mission,” Cassian said, far too lightly. “And you’ll receive the alliance’s best treatment, Captain Andor guaranteed.”

Cassian squeezed Bodhi’s hand, and Bodhi tried his best to work through his shock to squeeze back.

“You kept the engine running, Bodhi, against the worst odds I’ve ever seen. I am never going to forget that.”

Bodhi breathed as deeply as he dared, and tried his best to return Cassian's small smile. He remembered what he'd thought in the cockpit, when he was sure he wouldn't wake up again. That hadn't changed, had it? He'd done enough. It would be alright. The Death Star may not have been destroyed yet, but Bodhi, facing down Cassian’s sincerity and generosity, finally felt like he could rest.

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been kind of interested in the idea of how different Bodhi's experience on Yavin vs. with the partisans must have been (crucial missing scene in the movie) and this just sort of exploded from musings on that. Thanks for reading!


End file.
